Worries and Dreams

I read this quote once: "Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand."

So, after finally being able to walk thanks to a couple of "well placed" shots (sitting is another matter though :P), I can resume my regular posts.

However, building on the quote, there's one thing about me that I have absolutely despised for a long time, and that is I worry and I dream. Now don't get me wrong, both of these things are important.. in moderation. You see, I have always claimed that I do not worry about anything, and that I let the past be the past and live in the moment, but in reality I'm the ultimate worrier and dreamer. I worry about my future, I worry about my friends, I worry about my workplace, I worry about people that I don't know, heck, once I worried about my neighbor's cat because it was out for too long!

And the dreaming part, well, that's even worse! Before I even start most things, I've already dreamt up the outcome, the glory and the success. So, before I make a deal, I've already dreamt up how much money I'm going to make off of it, and debated with myself how I'm going to spend the money, and what kind of new investments I'm going to get into, and probably how much those investments are going to make me. And right after I spent 5 min. with a girl that I like I've probably already dreamt up the wedding night, honeymoon, how many kids we'll have (maybe even named them), our house, and what arguments would lead to a divorce. This happened without fail, every.. single.. time.. with the exception of once, where even though I wanted it to work out the most, I "knew" logically that it wouldn't. Of course they didn't know this, actually, no one knew this till now...

EXHAUSTING!! I mean, between worrying and dreaming, I almost have no time to live. Who cares if the cat got hit by a car? It's its owners' fault for letting it out. Who cares if this 15 yr old girl is "experimenting" with boys? The worst that could happen is she gets pregnant and it's her parents' damn fault anyway. My friends are all adults, and they can take care of themselves. And if she agrees to move here and marry me, then I'd be the happiest man alive, but If she doesn't, then I might as well make lemonade with the lemons I have.

So I decided on the following:

What good is it going to do anyone if I worry or dream? All that I can do is give advice, help, and love unconditionally. If they don't want to listen it's their own fault, and I might be wrong anyway. I will help if asked and help in the most intrusive way possible if not asked to help. This is not because I know best and they might not even need the help, heck I can't even get my own life straight, but because, even though I'm not going to be an obsessives worrier, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I found out later that I was able to help, and didn't.

As for the dreaming, every time I dream about the end before it even begins, I will remind myself that I probably should've been on my private jet right now heading to China to seal a multi-million dollar deal, and instead I'm sitting on my computer writing this. And maybe, just maybe, if I had spent less time dreaming and more time working, I'd actually be on that plane.

OUCH!!

This is my diary entry from yesterday:

"OWWW.. stupid gout. This transformation thing is not going to work without a full (health) makeover. OWWWW!! I think I’m taking the day off tomorrow!!!!"

For those of you who do not know what gout is I present this:

"gout - [gout] – noun 1. an acute, recurrent disease characterized by painful inflammation of the joints, chiefly those in the feet and hands, and esp. in the great toe, and by an excess of uric acid in the blood."

Yes, yes I couldn't move and forget about sleeping. My gout was so bad I wasn't sure that I wanted my foot anymore. So I hopped my way to the car, got in and drove myself to the hospital (for those that were wondering it was my left foot that was hurting), got a needle in the ass, and now I'm much better. Anyway, I looked like a complete fool, in my Stewey PJs and Homer "slippers". Pain can be a big wake-up call, so I decided that enough is enough and I have to take better care of my health. Here's a picture of myself in my "hospital outfit"... It was just too funny.. I had to share!

On The Turning Away

There are two concepts in life which you will find hold true in most cases:

1.) People always want more.

2.) People always want more for themselves.

Most people forgot the act of giving for the sake of giving. I'm not talking about money either. Most people who give, give out of a sense of guilt, sadness, anger or a range of other emotions. Most give money to the homeless so they can feel better about themselves, they give time to charity A or B because they have nothing better to do, or because they were too embarrassed to say no to the person who approached them. In reality though, even though those are good deeds, they take away from the emotion of true giving. How many people do you know really go out of their way to help people?

On the Turning Away is a song by Pink Floyd and the other is by Pink. (It's a coincidence it's not a pink theme!)


On the Turning Away





Dear Mr. President by Pink. If you ignore the personal attack on Bush, which, even though I don't like him, I do not condone, it's a song for everyone.